Rapidly approaching the landmark of forty, I thought to mysef, why not? Why not just do it. My girlfriend had just switched of the lights and we were getting ready to get some sleep. “You don’t have your costume here, do you?”

Well, it is the middle of winter. Why would I have my costume with me? Apparently this was the answer she was looking for. “Well, if it is a lovely day tomorrow like it was today, then we should take a ride on the scooter. Of course, if it is a lovely day, then we will want a walk on the beach and maybe a swim. But you don’t have a costume here, we will just have to go to a nudist beach.”

There was much trepidation as I approached the beach. I had never been to a nudist beach before and I didn’t really know how I felt about my girlfriend being naked in public. I was well aware of what a chauvinist I was being. After all, I didn’t really have any serious issues with other women seeing me naked or seeing other women’s bodies in their open displays.

Sandy Bay is on the Atlantic. The temperature control comes from the Benguella Current. The benguella current starts a few metres from Antarctica. Antarctica is made of ice. The water is quite cold. Furthermore, yesterday’s date was the 26th of July and that is virtually the middle of winter for us in the Southern Hemisphere. Madness, surely, to go to the beach. Normally I would agree but yesterday was a Capetonian day at the most perfect. Clear blue sky, warm sun and not a drop of wind. On this day, it came to pass that I became a happy nudist.

Sandy Bay has a rich history. People have long been coming here to be in the buff in the sun. In the early 80s, the police raided the place a few times. Whatever for, I will never understand. Nearly thirty years later it is still quite remote and from the direction I came in, it is a 15/20 minute walk. To see anybody naked with the naked eye from Llandudno is virtually impossible unless you are Superman. The nekkid revelers could not have been disturbing a single soul not on the beach. To think that some of my fellow countrymen still miss the Old South Africa and that childish controlling governance is beyond all good sense.

I don’t know if I would quite have been as comfortable on the beach without my girlfriend in attendance. Many long and short-willied men and old men prowl. A couple with their young daughter decided to be all touristy and just exist on the beach. Dad was fairly natural and ignoring all the nudity around him. Mom was having a good look. Men who are nothing short of sleazoids patrol up and down the beach. My girlfriend has public nudity down to a fine art. Everytime there was an obvious wanderer, she would sit up and bring her knees to her chest. I think that the city would do well to actually have a gate up on the beach… if you wanna walk on it, you need to be naked and if you aren’t you get fined or even better, tossed in jail for trespassing. The amount of muslim men walking on this beach was staggering. I don’t hate Muslim men, but I do hate hypocrites… these guys probably all had wives in Bhurkas back home.

The beach is beautiful. Council doesn’t do clean up operations here, it would seem, so a lot of litter gets washed from the sea. It would be nice if a group of people would get together with black bags and do some cleaning up. But the water is clear. Very clear. And cold. And if you ever thought shrinkage was a myth, I can tell you that it isn’t. Furthermore, any questions and doubts I may have harboured about “am I big enough” were washed away with the tide yesterday. There are men who I feel would do well to just use their equipment for little more than passing water. And yet they are quite content to parade their short comings.

There were women on the beach but not that many and of those that were there, not many were undressed. I have no issue with that. Men, however were plentiful. Some are just there for the sun, some are there to socialize. A lot, unsurprisingly, are there to cruise. But it is all subtle, elephant-in-the-room stuff. People stare but don’t try catch eye-contact. A black guy with an anaconda dangling from his crotch did walk fairly close to me making sure I knew what he was packing. People 100m away knew what he was packing. Some older gentleman with a hooked member was within my peripheral view all the while I was in for one of my swims. He was lurking and on the pull. I almost had a chat with one guy when I was swimming but it is hard ( Oops! I mean it is difficult). I mean, what on earth does one naked man say to another.  Other than the cruisers, there are a few leerers. I feel sorry for those and I am sure they could be cured with a baseball bat.

At one point, there was a woman on a horse on the beach. She was trying to look all in command and sexy when actually she wasn’t much of either. Okay, she was fairly sexy. I had walked past her as I came out of the water. When I got back to my girlfriend, she said; “Sweetie, that woman on the horse was perving at you.”

“Well, my darling,” I said looking into my beloved’s eyes, “I would be very disappointed if she wasn’t.”

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Tags: nudism; nudist; sandy bay; my first time; cold benguella current